Down deep in unknown rivers
Ever so casually swimming amongst the muck
There is a prevailing feeling
Over and under aquatic streams, that I’m
Xeroxing carbon copies of myself for all to see

Kirsten never admits defeat unless she’s
Really fucking sure she can’t win, but
Are you so sure you don’t like-wise exist
Under and over those same aquatic streams
Tenderly alive only to feel passion?

Beware
Of false prophets. DETOX is the REAL DEAL and
Xeroxing her ideas, for you all to see.

I want nothing else

July 9, 2009

i am here
with brown eyes
and an overpowering
sense,

that my existance
exists
merely to
exist

that my chubby face
although tangible and real
cannot feel
and is not embraced.

i am there
with brown hair
with a heavy heart
very sensitive

i have no place
i have no home
it was destroyed
but being rebuilt

and my hands are
hard and callused
from the work
i had no energy for
before

we are all alone
not only me
except i can see
what you can’t see

ON YOUR OWN

and i let it be shown

i want to be
known

i want nothing
else

For My Sister

July 7, 2009

I LET YOU BACK IN
AND YOU FUCKED ME AGAIN
AND I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU
THAT YOU CANNOT ACCEPT THE TRUTH

BUT IF THATS HOW THINGS ARE,
ASCRIBED IN THE STARS,
WE ARE ALL BETTER OFF
NOT HAVING A RELATIONSHIP

I WILL LOVE YOUR DAUGHTERS,
AND POSSIBLE SONS
WITH EVERY FRAGMENT
OF MY FLAWED HUMAN VESSLE

AND I WILL LOVE YOU TOO
BECAUSE THATS WHAT FAMILY DO
AND I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE
AS LONG AS GOD LETS ME

SO ASCRIBED IN THE STARS
ARE ALL OF MY SCARS
AND ALL OF YOUR FEARS
AND A FATHER’S WIDOWED TEARS

A FAMILY BLESSED
WITH A CHILD SO CHERISHED
AND IF YOU DENY ME MY PLACE
I WONT HESITATE

TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF
AND THE EARTH THAT SURROUNDS
MY HEART AND MY MIND
IN THESE TROUBLED TIMES

SO DO WHAT YOU WISH
AND GIVE JULIE A KISS
I WOULD GIVE YOU ONE AS WELL
BUT I FRIGHTEN YOU.

digression

July 5, 2009

the last face
that i shake
the spoof bloof
splurt flare

and smix wux
are us was
fleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i am a bee

i am

4 thousand half rememebered centuries.

they stand, with wide open arms
above our delicate sense
and self-educated freedoms
this massive idea, that things can exist
if only to visually manifest them
some rock and roll notions
of a satisfied world
of booze and girls
and fantastical escapes
the dream is an escapade
and the nightmare begins
slowly creeping and porously
exploding into the mainframe
my german notions
are ever so pertinent
dourly scraping up
all that is underneath.

little julie
soft and gooey
toddling fluidly
everything so new

i command her quite sternly
but always very lovingly
giggly giggles
and wordless emotions

i pick her up
and tousle her backwards
upside down handstands

during the day
i take her in my arms
and hop UP TOP
my mountains of cushions
i cradle her in
my toasty nook

as i sniff her head
its off to bed!
and we laze and dream
together, it seems
best friends in a way

i consider her my pet
except she’s much more complex
than a cat or a dog
or a warty old frog

shes just like my bird
but totally NOT
shes a cute little kid,
and i love her a lot.

staph

July 4, 2009

she hides from me
to escape herself
and i am here
with everything else
things ive always had

why won’t she talk to me?
why cant she speak?
is she so meek?
or is this quite bleak?

im telling a tale
that ive never experienced
im creating a synopses
of what i expect to happen

but that’s all uncertain,
and beneath these curtains
the shadow of shame
dangles romantically
within red velvet rapids
and shiny gold tassles

this stage is a castle
and my arms are unfolded
and im sitting so perfectly
alone in a corner

but im speaking with friends
through cracks in the wall
my morse code notions
tapped into existance
with pebbles and stones
and commoners bones

i sit in a class
i am taught something else
i’m off on a whim
i delicately swim
into your room
i sit on a spoon
and soak in the milk
the cream and silk
curdle before me.

its all so silly.

i cannot tell.

June 30, 2009

i suppose to those
in muddy robes
its all too understood
how everything goes

and so somewhere in a burrough
a theater girl works,
fastidious fingers
and elegant notions

and i place my potion
in a miniature tea cup
placed upon miniscule
ceramic doll house tables

everything around is
very small and vicarious
i am brash and gregarious
and she might not be grown up enough
to understand this

but as it were
i have no time
to fall in line
and appeal to
unfamiliar standards

i can only imagine
that i have impassioned
something so rare
into her hemisphere

im tossing rocks
at her beautiful frocks
i am for real
and she cannot reveal
whats under the sheet

she is incomplete

but so am i

i am giggling
spools of ribbon cake
into and out of
a swimly stream

and i am in a dream

i am OVERBLOWN

i have always known
how it feels
to pretend to be real

to intend that yr stuck
insist with a gist
a room with a view
a lightsaber, blue
in my puddles of goo
i sit and i stew
my shackles of grime
scattering time

and am i better off
to not have known
anything other?

i want to make waves
i want to displace
any slight chance
that i might have had

and i may decide
not to care